“IN LIEU OF FLOWERS”
/We live in a time where everyone is connected by social media—a time when the public sees photos of flower farms online showcasing the great harvest. You are presented with armfuls of exotic flowers and rolling hills of color, but not the patches of garden overtaken by beetles, the cold mornings spent mending fences, or the perfect blossoms decimated by harsh weather conditions. Society today offers a glimpse into each other's lives but not the full perspective. I invite you to see the compost pile. The dirt and rot that makes us grow. Let’s take a walk behind the scenes to promote authenticity and value in what is real in farming, life, and the struggles faced in business and the visual arts.
MAY ANGELS LEAD YOU IN. HEAR YOU ME, MY FRIEND.
There are jobs that we know everyone just has. I’ve met disaster relief technicians who clean up fire and water damage as well as crime scenes. I’ve encountered tired, traveling funeral directors and other working professionals dedicated to mitigating destruction wherever they are to focus on the rebuild- for the things that can be restored. These are all heavy-hearted jobs that provide services we recognize as common in our country, yet they are not always part of our everyday routines.
On the other hand, I have worked in the wedding and events industry for nearly two decades, managing private and corporate events that flaunt a "no budget" aesthetic with lavish décor and meticulous attention to detail. I have provided luxury salon services and arranged flowers and designs for proms and festivals. You know… celebrations.
Every job I have had has required that personal touch and respect for either the occasion, the client’s substantial investment, or both. In the end, a client with a 100k budget for a Christmas party has never intimidated me more than answering the call for floral and design for funeral services. I am not the “lillies shoved in floral foam” sympathy arrangement kind of gal. I’ve cried more making funeral arrangements than I have watching every season of This Is Us. Specifically in this industry where I require an in-person meeting for photography bookings and phone consultations for flowers… what do I do when I try to build something for someone who will never see or smell the arrangements and floral installations made in their honor?
There are two types of people and you always know what type you are. “In lieu of flowers” and “please send flowers” people - I get requests from both types and know that the perfect painting of what they need in botanicals will make you see the what I see. This one is for the floral skeptics.
I see presentation over “just a product”. I live in exact opposition of the “compostable inventory in a vase”, pick a number on the site that best fits you, florist jobs. It almost seems as sad as funeral directing. Make an appointment to come out to the farm and see what I see. I see the ever evolving character of those perfect statement flowers that remind you of your favorite relative, that time you were surrounded by happiness, the perfect dream. I will build it for you. I see expression through The Language of Flowers and speak to you and your guests that way. A symbol of admiration. A declaration of love and intent. A thank you for caring for your mom in the hospital in the last days of her life. Some jobs hit me harder than others but all are just as important.
My every day begins with three solid cups of coffee, I open my email, I feel the project request hit me right in the tear ducts head on and head out to the farm. I walk the aisles of our garden beds looking for the perfect stems while sometimes, silently sobbing over people I have met and some I have only heard about. Sad tears, happy tears, quiet reflection. I breathe - I listen - I crumble - I observe - I break again - and then I build.
Nothing has hit me harder than my first Alabama “sympathy” request in the summer of 2024. I was on med leave after my last heart surgery and got the call for a child, a girl. A high school girl. A young KIDDO that was friends with the students I had just made prom flowers for. How do we go from celebration to sorrow? The kids ordering flowers for other KIDS that are gone and no longer there for the next school dance.
I dig my hands in the dirt, find the answers I am looking for, and I build. There are businesses that operate on “product order”. A stem count, price point, and color scheme system alone. I can’t. I feel this. Deeply. Even before I begin I look at my empty hands and want to do nothing more than wrap them around my own little girl. <Deep breath> Now Exhale…
Sometimes, when I see "in lieu of flowers," I wonder if the person overseeing final wishes ever received flowers specifically crafted for them. Handwritten cards and intentional designs utilizing the Victorian “Language of Flowers” - that is what defines The Cosmo Cottage. This book is not only one of my all-time favorites; the actual Language of Flowers dates back to the 1800s Victorian Era, where people assigned meanings to the floral varieties exchanged. Each flower telling its own silent story.
I am only partially fluent in this language that allows a wide range of emotion to be expressed through the delicate beauty of flora. Each carefully chosen blossom carries its own significant meaning, thus facilitating rich communication without the need for spoken words. I nurture a diverse variety of flowers, each selected for their beauty as well as their inherent significance. The Language of Flowers beautifully revives the art of sentimental communication, illustrating profound messages that come through our artistic pieces every day.
I only take on projects that my heart and mind can understand. Projects I can connect to - so- I built those pieces for you, sweet girl. For your mama. Your daddy because I was a daddy’s girl myself. For your community that embraced your family in blooms. All I was told- “please say you’re working, she just loved flowers,” and I knew after looking at your stunning portrait on the announcement card - I had to do this.
Unbeknownst to my electrophysiologist, I crawled out of bed, shoved an ice block in my bra and blasted a “One Tree Hill” mix on Spotify. I cried my eyes out, oh my God I cried. My afterhours singing voice began to shake at about 1:00am when “Hear You, Me” by Jimmy Eat World started up and I felt every beat. Some of the stems were sourced, but the rest grew in front of my eyes when you were still alive and then… we stopped time, preserved stems, and memorialized you all at once. In that one night by the radio with a revolving glass of Chardonnay.
In lieu of thoughtless floral work. In lieu of detachment. In lieu of soulless flowers. - We are Cosmo Cottage. Thank you for supporting Local Artists.
May angels lead you in sweet girl. I was so honored to paint you in flowers.
PRESENTING MY “SUPER NOVA” DISPLAY FOR A BUCKHORN MAMA THAT WAS TRYING TO HELP BROKEN HEARTS AT BUCKHORN HIGH GET PASSED THE LOSS OF THEIR FRIEND, JOLIE. MAMAS HOLD EVERYTHING IN AND EXPLODE INTO TEARS behind closed doors SO OUR KIDDOS DON’T SEE us grieve. THAT IS WHY WE MADE THIS PIECE To show our support for our Cosmic families that support our business and a BEAUTIFUL community that we are lucky to be a part of.
The Cosmo Cottage “Compost Beginnings” blog reminds us all that it is important to remember the full spectrum of the farming and design journey. This means not just reveling in the vibrant blooms that catch our eyes but also recognizing the hard work, unseen challenges, and sometimes messy realities that bring them to life.
