A walk in the Cosmos, with Debbie

Everyone has a story. How they became who they are | How they found their passion | What brought them to… now. Our story of flowers began with Debbie - and Cosmo Cottage emerged at the same time we lost her. More stories of who we are, and I might not be walking in my garden today - without her.

I went into a mess of tears and craft boxes making this book the day after I got the news. I didn't know how much time.

I moved here to Texas in October 2020 and woke up on New Years Day to the news that one of the most important people to enter our lives had was beginning the fight for her life. But it never started with her chaos. It started with her kindness.

Debbie's first day of work as Koa's nanny, was Debbie Debbie's first day as a nanny. I suffered severe complications from a spinal surgery following a car accident and she was hired while I was at home to help lift and care for tiny Koa. Michael was deployed again, the pain grew to be unnatural and mind-numbing and I asked for help. The docs pushed it off, my own dad said it's nothing, just rest... Debbie believed me. "If you need to go, we will go to the hospital NOW", she said. After she helped carry me to the car I was rushed into emergency surgery and spent the next several days at Sacred Heart in Pensacola FL. I was told that had I waited longer, the infection would have taken control and I'd possibly lose the use of my legs. Leaving the house wasn’t easy. I looked terrified up at Debbie closing the door to the car. She said to me "I got this, you go”. Instant calm in my heart, I believed it. For the first time, someone meant it, someone got this while things were bad, really bad.

Debbie quickly became our everything. She watched Koa as I applied to cut flower farming school and encouraged my every dream. She heard me talk flowers and brought books I could relate to- Not even my parents had ever asked me what I wanted from this world so I amid my surprise, Debbie cared. I walked her out to see our new sprouts and she'd sing to Koa in the sunshine of our garden home in Florida. Debbie played with Koa while I went through months of trauma therapy after my accident and one day asked to take Koa for a stroller run through our bear-infested neighborhood. She laughed as she swore to me she would fight off the bears with her bare hands, and Lord, I believed her. She always protected us.

Time went on.

It was Debbie that taught our sweet dancer her first steps across the floor. Working in pediatric physical therapy before she knew Koa, our girl finally worked her tiny body into a wobbly but confident plié. So many milestones, sauntering through our Florida Garden House with handfuls of blueberries and fresh garden peppers.

We made pepper jelly while her gorgeous blonde highlights processed in her kitchen and I watched my daughter play, taking in the love of all that was around us. I wondered how many families had days just like this. Just normal, content, and filled with unmatched joy.

So many days of truly, unmatched joy.

When the storms hit and our house during Hurricane Sally, family sent #prayers, some said nothing at all, the Chebens sent help. Their own help. Help learning how to navigate hardships, help cutting down trees, help setting up our trailer to move, fixing fences, help with Koa, family kind of help, I imagine. For the first time... help- without begging or convincing loved ones to show up and without understanding how we were deserving of such love and kindness. For what reason. Because they were the Chebens.

The day I told Debbie Debbie we planned to move to Texas I broke down crying and brought home 2 stiff margaritas and a huge bag of tacos. We teared up, we giggled that the margaritas snuck up on us as I scolded her about "who gives a shit you're still on the clock. I am still kind of the boss, haha. Bad news always pairs best with tequila, Debbie." I jokingly said ...at the time.

I had no intention of stomaching the earth shattering news yesterday or the shot required to face it.

Koa had already spent over a year and a half looking for Debbie's face every time a blonde would turn around and even still, for the longest time, we still felt that... oh, not Debbie feeling.

I was in Alabama looking for our home we live in now when I found out Debbie didn’t have long. There was always that hurt from our move missing our friends but nothing seemed like forever until Debbie died peacefully on the night of Koa's Popsicle Day.

We spent the day singing and celebrating life the day my friend slipped into the cosmos. I suppose, in a way, Debbie would have approved. I took Koa out to what is left of our cosmo patch and for the first time, I had to explain to my little love how her best buddy turned into a star. I put a small white cosmo flower in her hand to hold close. "You can still talk to her, Koa Bear”. We will always find Debbie in the cosmos.

Cosmos for our dear friends, The Cheben Family for their loss and for the life they gave us while we had them so close to home. Our daughter will always know the love that made her first years on Earth so very special because of you, and because of Miss Debbie Debbie.

Original Post : October 26, 2022